Like most mamas, my story begins after many long hours of labor, that today are only a foggy beloved memory. He was as long as he was loud, big hands and eyes and the most kissable lips you ever did see. I've never cried like that. Exhaustion, joy, disbelief and the love, heavy and tingling, sitting on my chest, I was everything and nothing all at once. George Harrison's My Sweet Lord had been playing all week and I can remember hearing it in my head on and off while the room bustled, my baby cried, my husband laughing and holding his face full of emotion, and my doctor rubbing my legs and telling me what a good job we'd done.
The years have felt like a sequel to that moment. Busy, challenging, long drawn out moments dotted with blissful pauses of seeing what we'd created. The getting to know you days that I thought were only temporary have become our collective lives. He changes, we change, we grow more and more in love; how did we get so lucky that he is ours for always? I don't know what life would be like without him, but to even consider it feels like part of me is wretched away. But while he is part of us, he is mostly him, charming and soulful, powerful and playful, loud and loving, fiercely independent and quietly curious. All five years, bringing the wonderful into our lives, thank you boy. Happy birthday son, I hope you remember this one for always. 5, it's such a very big deal.