October Boys

We were born before the wind

Also younger than the sun

Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic

Hark, now hear the sailors cry

Smell the sea and feel the sky

Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home

And when the fog horn blows I want to hear it

I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul

Just like way back in the days of old

And magnificently we will flow into the mystic

When that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home

And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it

I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul

Just like way back in the days of old

And together we will flow into the mystic

Come on girl...

Too late to stop now...

 

 Into The Mystic - Van Morrison

October

It's always been a wonderful month...fall creeps in, we start to spend more time at home in the evenings, I cook things in my oven again after the hot summer hiatus, and best of all, Keith's birthday.

This year is different. 

It's better.

It's a double birthday month.

I love to celebrate my husbands birthday mostly because he is so terribly modest, and never expects a thing. But this year, October arrived and it sent us both into a fraz of excitement and anticipation for reasons entirely new. Our little boy will be here any day and to say we are thrilled is the understatement of the year! Keith hovers around my every move, waiting to the birth process to begin, and had I not reminded him, he would have totally forgot his birthday this year : ) 

I, of course, think Keith is the most fabulous person in the world. He is hysterically funny and half the time isn't even meaning to be. He is thoughtful and genuine in a way that makes me strive to be a better person in every way I can. He is loyal and loving in a way that teaches me daily what it means to really be in love and loved. He makes sense out of madness, listens like a mother and builds you up like a father. He is charming, honest, handsome, and kind. He rules my hearth and heart and is the guardian of everything I value in this world. 

Together we have created a boy child and any day now we will see his tender face. We will cover him with all our pent up adoration and whisper to him his name: Henry (ruler of the hearth) Porter (guardian), a boy destined to be an October boy; just like his father. The lion hearted Yeomans boys. 

With a father like Keith, my son will grow to be a far better man than I could ever imagine. And for this, and so much more, I am more happy today than I was yesterday, and expect only to surpass it tomorrow. 

Happy Birthday, Keith. 

Thank you for all you do,

all you have done,

and all that we will become.

( Keith's little love note I found one morning)

(our first clothing item we bought the day we found out we were expecting a boy)

I can't wait .

XoXo,

Lyndsey and lil' Henry

The wait is up...

In the early hours of a hot August morning, a boy was born. Round flush cheeks, dark twinkling eyes and a little mouth that looks ready for a kiss...a boy was born. 

Jackie and I have been sharing our journey as new mothers over these past several months, and I've thanked God more than once to have her first at bat status flanking mine ; )

We announced our growing families together with our ecstatic husbands at a dinner party in the winter and watched as our bellies, thick fingernails, and love for food trucks grew side by side, month after month. We have vowed to support one another, watch our boys play together, and keep the other in check for the occasional need of a haircut/shower/changing out of pjs before the evening that will surly become a new part of our lives as we step into motherhood. I love both her and her amazing husband, Rion, and couldn't ask for better parents in training partners for Keith and I. 

After months of planning, little baby Zimmerman decided to join the world today! He is so beautiful and sweet looking, I can't WAIT to get my hands on him. Congratulations to the new mommy and daddy...I can't imagine the love and happiness you must be feeling as you bed down tonight with your darling son. God bless you three. Life is grand, and what a great day to be born!

We love you Zimmerman Family!!!

Xx,

Auntie Lynds, Uncle Keith, and baby Henry

Golden Memories

Today is special. Today is golden...

Today I want to remember things that might hurt, to embrace a part of my life that used to feel damaged or broken. Today I want to be thankful for blessings that took me 31 years to see. 

A week ago I was in the middle of a deeply personal conversation with one of the dear sages in my life. We were discussing death, and how one moves in it, grows from it, and above all - celebrates the life within it. In our own ways, death defines us. A little or a lot, and each in our own way. 

Nothing has shown me more about life and myself, than my sister's passing. Those of you who know me well, know this part of me. I don't wear it like a stain or a tear...rather, I try to celebrate it. For she was a treasure to celebrate. I couldn't always do this. Getting here was hard, something I still work at. But I never doubted this was where I needed to be. Not just for me or my family, but for her. What good can come from a life lived only to have it's passing eternally morned? I preach, I know...but this is something that has caused me so much time and energy. And it's never 'easy.' The work is never done. But there is a beauty to it and a grace that is freeing in ways I can only begin to know. Although it's hard, I know I must let go of the pain I feel from her death and hold on to the joy I feel from remembering her life.  In this way, I feel closer to her. In honoring her life, I am able to live with her still.

I share all of this today, because today is not only a day of mass memorial, but today would have been her golden birthday - 30 on the 30th. Given the wonderful changes in my life, I find myself in reverence of her memory, and the love that I've managed to find there. It's humbling and peaceful, despite the recurring swells of pain and grief. I used to feel like this day was a day of sadness, that I should mourn her with my tears the pain of my loss...but it took a good friend remembering her with love and the purchase of some lilacs years ago to end that cycle. Instead, today is now for me a day of celebration and joy. And to feel this is to still love her. To know her. To say, SHE WAS HERE AND I'M SO THANKFUL FOR THAT! 

I try to buy a plant each year or sit outside in silence in quiet happy conversation with her in my mind. This is the way to remember. This is the way to hold memorial. Through love and celebration of life.

To Brooke on her 30th,

Thank you for the love and joy you brought into my life. Thank you for the knowledge and compassion I have learned from your absence. You were silly and stubborn in your life with us and I will try to be silly and stubborn in how I remember you.

Missing you always,

Xo

Lyndsey

Me (age 5), Brooke (age 4), Mom and little Abbey ( age 1 1/2)

Brooke(2) and Me (3) and the bug.

Thank you for giving my rant an audience. I hope I've not offended anyone. This is just my personal take on the process of grieving and celebrating life...a deeply personal journey. My message, I hope, is that no matter how long your journey takes, you aim for and end up in a place of love and celebration. 

Xx

L